15 Years. More Than Just A Number
Every TicketManager anniversary is special. 15 changed my life one awful night. Why this one hits different
Every TicketManager anniversary is special for their own reasons. 15 is personal. It’s a number that means so much to our family.
So why does 15 matter so much?
Because it is a number that changed my life.
When I was in the sixth grade I was put into an accelerated learning program where 23 kids from the local three elementary schools went to junior high a year early.
It was an, well, it was an experience.
Since there were only 23 of us, we had to play sports on the older kids teams. Only two of us even tried. My dad thought I should try wrestling. I was a wimp (still am). And I was really small. A very young sixth grader (I have an August birthday and the cutoff was Sept. 1 back then so I was supposed to be a 5th grader) on a 7th and 8th grade team. I was timid. I had zero confidence back then - for a number of credible reasons - and I had no friends on the team as the only sixth grader.
I remember almost nothing about that season. But for one match…which I remember everything about. It was the worst night of my life at the time. And I'm so thankful for it now.
At the end of the season, there was a regional tournament we were all entered in. I was somewhere in the middle on the totem pole at my weight class.
My dad traveled a lot for work back then. He worked for Apple and they were moving a large part of the company to Austin - plans which were eventually nixed in the mid-90s. He was gone every other week to Texas, alone, working hard for us. We had some stuff going on back then which is not appropriate for this medium, and he was doing superhero work keeping our family together and providing for us. He and my mom were always so supportive of our sports. They just liked to watch us play sports and never put any pressure on any of us. He missed the entire season to that point.
But he was at the tournament. And, somehow, to both of our surprise, I won my first two matches.
I would wrestle a boy in the quarterfinals I had wrestled earlier in the year and had lost to 8-6. It's the only other match I remember, probably due to what happened next.
The match went south fast. 2-0. Then 4-0. Then 6-0. The coach called timeouts.
Things continued to get worse. And then, I quit. I was scared, embarrassed, and felt like I was letting everyone down. I half-assed the rest of the match and was mercy ruled 15-0.
I don't remember really anything about that season. I don't remember my record, the score of any of the matches, where most of them were, the names of the kids above and below me on the totem pole or even my coaches name.
But I remember everything about that match and that night. I remember the helpless feeling. I remember the look of concern for me on my dad's face during and after the match. And I remember him trying to make me feel better in the car and my mom's worry when I got home. Nothing needed to be said, this was the bottom.
I couldn't shake that loss. I felt terrible about it.
That night changed my life - for the better. I just didn't know it yet.
I lost and lost for years after that. I had terrible grades and underperformed at everything. I got cut from the freshman volleyball team. I was 6'3 at the time and was put on the second team and told my attitude sucked.
That's when it all came together. I didn't want to feel like that anymore. I didn't want to have the people I cared about have to worry about if I was going to be okay. So, for that freshman season, I picked the number that represented that feeling….15.
It was all going to change. All of it. If I lost, I lost. But It was never going to be because of doubt or effort. I wasn't going to give up again.
And my goodness did it all change.
15 was a constant reminder. It was right there on my chest, no matter what happened on the court. I wrote it on my shoes, my notebooks, my backpack….everything. And I never told anyone why. To them, it was just the number I wore in a sport nobody at my school cared about. It was the number I stared at when I was too tired, too down, or too lazy to go to the gym or study.
And I've worn it ever since.
My little sister started wearing 15 shortly after and wore it proudly for four years at Michigan State.
And now my son, on his own, chooses to wear 15.
We've been through some really hard times at TicketManager, which we've chronicled in the Three Things. Gut punch after gut punch in the early years. Investors who left. 'Friends' who stole. Heartbreak after heartbreak.
And yet, here this team is. Always getting up. Always pushing forward. For 15 years.
We turned that deficit into a win. All just by refusing to give up.
I think about that night often. Something I once lamented I'm now so grateful for. "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." - Romans 8:28. Even 15-0 mercy rule ass-kickings in front of an audience.
Happy 15th anniversary TicketManager. I'm so thankful for the team who brought us here. What a ride.