How to leave well
Three people I considered friends left my company in the past few weeks.
Three people I considered friends left my company in the past few weeks. Not one came in to tell me face to face.
They texted early in the morning. They treated me like an employer and expected me to respond like a friend. Happens all the time.
Here’s the thing — I knew better. I’ve been doing this for 18 years. If you’d asked me before they left whether we were friends, I would have said, kinda yes. But I would have said it with the quiet understanding that it isn’t mutual. That’s the game.
These aren’t people I only saw in meetings. I spent some free time with them. Dinners. Golf. Free time - my most limited resource.
They left for their reasons. Some I respect. Some I don’t. Doesn’t matter. But none of them left well.
When you leave a job, you become the main character. I get it — everyone’s the star of their own movie. But leaving well is one of the most underrated career moves there is.
I can’t tell you how many people have left our company — some of them furious on the way out — who, a year or three later, reach out saying they wish they’d handled it differently. Many ask to come back.
The news is full of cold-hearted layoffs. They’re that way because of lawsuits. It is near impossible to be kind anymore. And all it takes is one.
So here’s the checklist. How to leave well:
If you were hired in person, resign in person. That’s the bare minimum. You sat across from someone who took a chance on you. Have the decency to sit across from them again.
Give real notice. I know the internet wants to turn every employer into the villain. “They’d fire you and walk you out the same day.” Maybe. At our company, when someone quits, we usually do send them home quickly — and then we keep paying them. For weeks. Sometimes longer. Because we want the ending to be right. The least you can do is give people time to plan.
Make it about the people- not you. You might be the main character in your movie, but if you’re at a company of more than five people, there’s a mission everyone else is still grinding toward. They don’t need your farewell soliloquy. They need a clean handoff.
Respect the talent pool. If this was a good place to work, you probably made real friends here — because good companies hire motivated people who are a lot like you. Those bonds are real. But you met those people at the company. That’s worth something. Nick Saban used to talk about how his assistant coaches would find new jobs — often with his help — and then immediately come back to recruit his assistants. Understandable. But maybe not right away.
Don’t settle scores on the way out. There is no worse look than trying to sink someone on your way out the door. Yes, we all work with people who frustrate us. That’s life. But using your exit as a chance to hurt somebody just for the sake of hurting them - or vengeance? That’s what cowards do.
Nobody is going to die in a job. And if they did, that would be a tragedy. Companies know people leave. We do our best, but nothing is going to be perfect for anyone. There’s always something to resent.
Sometimes the worst thing a company ever did was give the person the job they applied for.
We’ve had a number of boomerangs here. It’s a terrific compliment.
Keep that door open.