The Four People We Meet At Holiday Parties
What we can learn about teamwork, leadership, and ourselves from holiday parties and family gatherings
The holidays are here and so much comes with them. Holiday parties, family events, school events, and so much more.
Everyday, everywhere, we can learn to be a better leader, a better team mate and a better person. And the holidays, and the cast of characters we run into throughout, are a terrific example of life imitating work.
Here are four people we all come across during the holidays and how they show up in our professional lives:
"I'm doing all this work and everybody is going to hear about it.” The most tragic of the characters we come across during the holidays and in the office. They usually mean well. They take pride in their work. They work so hard for everyone around them. But then, after all the good, they constantly verbalize and let everyone know how hard they're working. It comes across as comparing themselves to others, or complaining, and ruins all the good will. We all know this person. And it's best for us to try to tell them how much we appreciate them. How much we need them. To try to get in front of their need to verbalize. Even then, some of them can't help it. It's good to recognize that when we work that hard and feel the need to talk about it, maybe it is best to stop and reconsider.
"I'm only going to be here as long as I have to while doing only what's required of me and nothing more.” Whatever the event is, they're usually at it. They show up to the holiday party, sit in the corner with a small group of people, then leave early. They roll into the family event and spend their time buried in their phone or in the other room. They show up on-time, leave as soon as they see an opportunity, only do what's asked of them, and they're gone. Which is fine, for most events. But don’t count on them if there's ever extra clean-up, if someone needs a ride, or if there's prep work to help with. They try to hide their lack of effort best they can (especially if they work remotely), but they know deep down they are trying to trick everyone around them. We all have teammates like this. They do the minimum, complain about what they don't like, make no attempt to add anything to the community, and act surprised when others pass them in responsibility and stature. We can all easily fall into this trip when invited to an event we don't want to attend but know we should.
"Totally checked out and should just leave but is afraid to.” Even worse than the "going through the motions" guy, the guest who just simply doesn't want to be there and acts as such. They want to leave, everyone else would knows it would likely be better if they left, and yet here they are - because they're too afraid to leave and don't know anything different. In the end, whatever the circumstance, it is actually best to ask them to leave, no matter how uncomfortable. Yeah, it'll ruffle some feathers. Some will ask why they were told to go. But being disrespectful and putting the host/supervisor/family members in a place where they need to ask them to leave is selfish and inconsiderate. Once gone, everyone knows it was the right thing. An ounce of sewage spoils a magnum of the finest champagne.
"Too important to themselves for the event.” We're all team mates, family members, and community members. To be a great one, we support our family, friends, team mates, groups, and communities. We do so by respecting and honoring what's important to them, even if it isn't as important to us. We always show up. With hugs and love and respect. No-showing something that is important to someone to "do something better" is selfish. And, as much as we may love them, having selfish people in our lives isn't filling our cup. In business, there are so many examples of these teammates. We think they're stars, but don't realize they're probably hurting us more than helping us.
I'm sure there are plenty more characters we all come across through the holiday season and maybe we'll find some more to talk about next year =)
Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you and yours. Unto this day a Savior is born. There is no word strong enough to relay my gratitude. I hope you get time to rest, relax, and fill your cup with the community around you.