On Quitting
The great resignation, companies pulling offers, Gig workers and recessions are all in the news these days. Today, what I've learned about quitting - both in my experience and seeing others.
The stigma of labeling someone a quitter can be weaponized to enable bad actors and further encourage their poor behavior. "Nobody likes a quitter" or "they can't be trusted/counted on." The fear of being labeled a quitter hangs over so many trapped in a bad situation. And there's merit to that stigma in certain situations: life and death, crucial moments, etc. However, if you signed up for one environment and find yourself in another - leave immediately and ignore the fear and slander. Most who quit these situations have only one regret….they waited too long. I quit my college volleyball team at the end of the regular season and before the playoffs. Just terrible optics for someone who played a lot. It wore heavy on me for a long time. I knew I was quitting end of season for the entire year and that the environment was awful for me. My dad encouraged me to stick with it - and I did. But, eventually, even he saw that staying was no longer healthy. Ten freshman joined that team together in one of the school's historically best recruiting classes in 1997. I was the third to quit - and the first who was getting heavy playing time - starting the majority of the matches. In the end, only one player finished all four years.
Get all three sides of the story and use the stigma to your advantage. When we hired a crucial team member nearly a decade ago, our reference calls didn't go the way we anticipated. One of the references, given to us by an investor, had worked with this person and told us a very detailed story of how they "quit," why it was so wrong, and why we can't trust the candidate. Most hiring managers would stop right there. Red flag. Not us. Of course, we discussed with the candidate and got the other side of a story. But that's not enough. We hunted for others involved. Why? B/c they are quitters out there. People who do leave for selfish reasons and do so terribly which makes it easy to be overly cautious in a scenario like ours. We got all three sides of the story, hired the prospective teammate, and they've been one of the best teammates I've had in my lifetime - both in and out of work- for a decade.
Do it the right way. There is so much vitriol toward businesses today. Much of it is deserved. However, like anything, sentiment is too often formed by the outliers. Companies doing crappy things happens. Same with employees doing crappy things. The fall out of quitting in a selfish way just isn't worth it - no matter how justified it is. I've read about people "putting in for their two weeks of vacation then giving two weeks of notice" (that's happened here) amongst others. Not every company executive is a heartless billionaire. If, unfortunately, we find ourselves in a poor situation, it's best not to sink to their level. I hated the team I quit. Nearly everything about it. So I walked. I shouldn't have. I've seen too many people do the same in their careers b/c it feels great in the moment. Like a sugar rush that wears off quickly and leaves us to ponder what kind of person we want to be to others. Yeah, I hated it, but not all of it. We've had people leave here guns blazing. It is very rare, but it has happened in our 15 years. Some in front of the whole pit. Others threatening to sue. Others actually suing. And others trashing something about us publicly. What's unknown: how many of them reach out years later to apologize and mend fences personally. It's the vast majority - believe it or not.
It's okay to quit. There are only three ways out of a job: 1) Quitting 2) Termination 3) Tragedy.
We all prefer 1.
Remove the stigma from "quitting" - for you and your team. To quit simply means "to leave, usually permanently." "Giving up" has its own dictionary entry.